Lunch discussion today veered towards the budget trimming that it currently going on at our institution and it's fairly clear that we all (there were three departments represented) think that there are many many places that departmental spending could be fixed. Of course the following will not provide enough money for me and J to keep our jobs, but still we might be able to accept our fate with a little more grace if we knew these things weren't going on:
1) When graduate students defend the department buys cake and champagne for the whole department to celebrate with. That's cake and champagne for 50 people about 5 times a year. In one of the other departments represented, the department provides the defendee's lab with $250 with which they can go out and buy supplies for the after-defense party. Now, I'm not suggesting that defending your thesis isn't a huge deal that doesn't deserve celebration. But perhaps the defendee's lab should be responsible for the finances of the post-party. That's how we did it where I got my degree and not one lab complained about this. They all spent what they could afford. Alternately, the office staff in charge of the cake and champagne should perhaps keep a closer eye on how much cake is actually needed. Without fail, each morning after a defense in this department there appears left-over slices of cake, usually about 1/3 of the cake. Perhaps the department could start buying smaller (and less expensive) cakes?
2) Outside speakers. When a speaker from another institution visits their schedule is typically this: arrive at airport the night before, a car is hired to get them from airport to hotel (maybe a PI or students could volunteer instead) where they will have dinner (on the department). The next morning their first PI appointment of the day will pick them up and get them over to the institution where they meet a few other PI's before giving their seminar in the late morning. Those attending the seminar are treated to breakfast pastries (also on the department - I don't think we really need food, especially in the late morning, timed such that as soon as the seminar is done it's lunchtime). Following the seminar the speaker has lunch with about 15-25 students and postdocs - lunch is provided for all. I suggest that the lunches be kept to 4-5 students with the closest interests to what the PI does, that will significantly reduce the amount of food required. The afternoon is then spent shuffling around more PI's and finally the day ends with a huge dinner at the finest restaurants in the city (the $50 per person is on the low side restaurants where they all drink a bunch too). The department foots that bill (18 times a year). Throw in 18 2-night stays at a nice area hotel plus 18 round-trip airline tickets to here and back a year. Of course we have to have guest speakers and they have to be treated nicely, but there must be ways to trim here.
3) The front office staff. And I know this isn't the case only in my department at this institution. There are 5 (yes, 5) front office staff for our department of 15 faculty. One is the overall administrator, she is the most senior and runs all the details of department personnel and she works very closely with the department chair on the budget. She is very important and very busy. We can keep her. One is the purchasing secretary - any time any lab must order something we fill out our purchase order, have our boss sign it and bring it down to her. It's her job to forward that PO onto the main purchasing office. She's ok at her job but it doesn't keep her busy enough all day long - forgotten orders are common. She's often found on the phone or wandering the hallways chatting and gossiping. I like her, but I'm not sure we need a whole position devoted to transferring purchases from this department to purchasing. Next there is the assistant to the department chair. We can also keep her - she works very hard and our department chair is a very busy person. Keeping all of her work-life in order is a daunting task. And finally, my personal favorite, is the "face of the department." She's the gateway between the world out there and us. She answers all the phone calls, she sends out seminar notices she greets visitors and she is absolutely useless. I know I sound harsh, but spend one day with me in here and you will feel this way too. A phone call that should last 20 seconds will last 5 minutes because she cannot articulate what she is saying. A person that has visited the department 15 times must still be given the 3rd degree as to why they are here. And the list goes on.
I vote to combine her job with that of the purchasing secretary and I vote to give that job to someone who will keep busy all day, to someone who will seek out extra things to do when the official work for the day is done, rather than roam around chatting. That clears up an entire salary.
This post makes me sound harsh. I'm not. But I am realistic. Because of upcoming changes in my and S's lifestyle I've become hyper-aware of those places in our lives in where there is superfluous spending. The departmental budget (minus about $750,000 from last year) was due on Monday. I will never see it. I will never know who and what has been cut (besides me and J), but I do hope that they have done their best to trim out the little things as well.
I think you've pretty much nailed it on the head - reducing headcount is a 1 time, "high impact" (on the bottom line) event.
ReplyDeleteTrimming out the cake and champagne is much more tedious and oftentimes hard to accurately quantify, as those expenses often get folded into the general "other stuff slush fund." And unfortunately the idea of getting rid of cake is MUCH more distasteful to some than getting rid of an entire person.
There are a few other ways a department could help labs save money - negotiate a standard rate for sequencing through one company, negotiate standard rates for enzymes, centralized purchasing of office supplies, eliminating free copies/printing, buying chemicals and media in bulk, and the list can go on and on.
The bottom line is that the department should start acting as if it's a company with multiple sub-businesses rather than a trade association. If they do that they might start to apply some operations and supply-chain rigor that could trim a significant amount of $$$ out of the budget.
But, of course, that's not strictly in line with the academic ethos, now is it?