Different Perspectives

There is a job opening at my institution for a Research Scientist. Essentially, a research scientist has the same role as a postdoc - they have a Ph.D., they are responsible for independent research within their lab, they must give presentations and work toward publication of manuscripts and they are often responsible for training graduate students and postdocs. The one big difference between a research scientist and a postdoc is that the RS has no intention of ever running her own lab and therefore the RS position is an 8-5 job.

I have been debating with myself for a week now about whether or not to apply for this job. My outlook as far as getting the sort of teaching position I would like is grim. And I've mentioned before in this blog how I feel about wanting to positively contribute to our life. If I decided to stay at the bench I would certainly be happier with an 8-5 job rather than what I've got now, which is more like "You're a horrible scientist if you leave after having been in the lab for any less than 10 hours and if you go home and aren't constantly thinking about your project and if you aren't here all weekend." That being said - I'm sure this wouldn't just be an 8-5 job, I don't really want to stay at the bench and this would certainly close all doors on a teaching career (I'm 99% certain that there would be no flexibility there for me to take days off to teach).

Really, my motivation for thinking I should go after this position is that I would still have a paycheck and I would still have my own insurance. In the grand scheme of life those aren't the most important things, especially considering that a) we can survive on S's salary and b) I can get on S's insurance without any hassle.

S does not think I should apply for this job. Again, (and I'll repeat this a whole lot more I'm sure) he's amazingly supportive of me finding the right job this time, even if that means I'm at home for a while before I find that position. Most of my friends and my family don't think I should apply for this job - for the same reasons above. There's even this nagging feeling that this might be the "right" time (there's never a right or perfect time for this) to have a kid. This is a notion heavily supported by my Mother and at least one very close friend. After talking to any of them, S included, I feel confident again about the possibility of not transitioning immediately into another job.

And then I get to work and have a conversation with J, our technician who is also frantically searching for a job and all that security goes out the window. She really thinks I should apply for the RS job. She thinks it would be fine to do that for a year and then look for teaching positions again (even though I know that I'll have an even harder time then than I am now given yet another year between me and my last teaching experience). Also, I won't get hired for this position if they have even an inkling that I'd jump ship so soon. J said I don't have to let on that that's my plan (which is true, but people have a pretty good sense of what an interviewee's mindset is, even if we think we're playing the game really well).

I have to keep reminding myself of the different places that J and I are coming from. I've spent all my time since college working toward my goal of teaching. J got this job right out of college and is perfectly happy to tell you that she has no desire to go to graduate school and she is very happy working a regular job and going home to her husband and dog each night. I also would like children and some point and have always struggled with myself and how I would manage to do both my job and being a mother well not to mention trying to figure out when I could manage to have a kid without killing my career. It's hard not to view this as a big giant sign. J doesn't want children so not getting a new job and having this chance to be at home for a little while really doesn't make sense in her life. Once I remind myself of these differences I feel better again.

It is interesting though to take a step back and remember that even though J and I are in essentially the same situation we have very different takes on the situation and how we feel about our jobs/careers and what comes next. That being said, I think I'll focus on the people who are thinking the same way I am about this whole thing........