In an earlier post I alluded to a recent concern of mine - that I lack a research niche to take with me when I apply for a permanent position at a small, liberal arts college. That concern transformed from something that just briefly crossed my mine into something that really worried me with regards to my chances to achieve a position. Yes, I need more teaching experience, but yes, these small colleges are expecting their professors to be able to provide the students with some access to real, live, hands on, at the bench research experience. All of a sudden, the need to get my postdoc position back seemed maybe more important than getting the year-long teaching position. And yesterday, once I knew that I'd have at least one class at the technical college per semester the idea of passing on a teaching position for a postdoc made even more sense. These were suspicions confirmed by my former college advisor, who has been invaluable lately with advice on what I need to be doing now in order to get where I want to go in a few years.
I was prompted to get in touch with my postdoc advisor, just to let him know that taking a postdoc was a little bit more of a priority now. I thought he'd be happy to hear that - but while he certainly wasn't disappointed, he clearly wasn't doing vocal cartwheels either. He told me that he's still waiting to hear about exactly how big his grant will be, he's going on vacation next week and isn't going to even begin to think about making any decisions until after. Great, more people putting me on hold. But as of last night I was still crossing my fingers that he'd decide in my favor in a few weeks' time.
Coincidentally, the grad student from that lab contacted me yesterday asking for help finding a plasmid (little DNA construct) that I had gotten from my grad lab. I called her and gave her all the directions I could think of....she couldn't find it in the stocks. This morning I had to send my postdoc mentor a form to fill out with regards to my new position at the technical college. I got a reply telling me that he'd sent the form and that S was having trouble finding this plasmid and basically ordering me into the lab to help her. By the time I returned home 4 hours later I had discovered that I never froze down this plasmid (big giant oops and not in my favor as far as getting re-hired), had eaten a lovely lunch with all the girls I used to eat with daily, and had learned a bit more about my post-doc mentors potential funding situation. I left not loving my odds - I also left not really wanting to return to that atmosphere. Big problem there.
And so I came home, screwed up my courage and called "the big gun" aka my graduate mentor. First, I apologized for being an idiot and asked if she'd re-send that plasmid to my other lab. This was not a problem. Then I very carefully explained what worried me about getting the job of my dreams someday and started hinting/asking what she thought of sharing reagents and projects with a former graduate student who would never be her competitor and would always want to work with her. To which I heard (in a tone of voice clearly suggesting that I'm a ridiculous person for sounding so nervous for asking about this) "No problem, C. What do you want to work on? I can think of at least a million projects that you could take. Seriously, no problem. You probably need more teaching experience. The research part is taken care of."
I nearly cried with relief. I thanked her profusely and sheepishly added that I was in fact asking about this nearly 2 years in advance. She laughed, but understood when I explained that I needed to know this now so that, should I be lucky enough to have a choice about job within the next few weeks, I can make a better decision that I would have been able to this morning.
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