(I promise that this has little to do with the bathroom other than that was the room I was in)
I (tried) to go to the bathroom this morning around 4:30. My cat had other plans for me.
(I should mention here that Max feels the need to escort me to the bathroom regardless of what time of day it is or how soundly napping he was just moments before. I've told him numerous times that I can make it all on my own, but he doesn't seem to be taking it to heart.)
(The following takes place in the span of about 30 seconds)
So, there we were at 4:30 AM, cat and human, half asleep in the dark bathroom. Instead of heading to his normal perch on the sink next to the toilet, Max stayed on the floor. And I, in my haze, nearly stepped on his tail. I was at least awake enough to feel the fur beneath my foot and to try and correct where I was heading. Unfortunately, the cat also sensed the impending danger and also tried to correct where he was heading.
We "corrected" in the same direction.........
Once again cat and human realized how tangled up we were about to be and we both tried to move out of each other's way again - and we ended up more tangled than before. As I fumbled in the dark, still half asleep, but aware enough to be scared that I was about to severely damage Max I lost my balance.........and landed on my back in our bathtub.
Seriously. I had backed into the rim of the tub which comes right to knee-level on me which caused my knees to buckle and put me into an about-to-sit position and a backward arc. My fall was slowed and my sitting position was maintained by my shower curtain/rod set-up which (here is where I praise my shower curtain) had enough tension to save me from a concussion but was weak enough to come down thus preventing any tearing of either the curtain or the liner.
At about the point that I fully woke up and realized that yes, I was in fact sitting in the tub amidst a curtain rod, a shower curtain and lots of little metal hooks......at 4:30 in the morning........because of my cat. Also at about that point my husband rushed into the bathroom in a panic after having been woken up by all the commotion (I would like to pretend that I did this gracefully and without noise, but that isn't so much the case). He made sure I was alright and I could tell by the look on his face that he was deep in thought trying to figure out how this situation was possible. Then he started to laugh at me. At the time, I didn't laugh.......now at least it brings a smile to my face.
As for Max.......when I went into the bathroom this morning to shower he ran as fast as he could down the stairs and hid under the guest bed. I'm fairly certain it will be some time before he feels the need to escort me to the bathroom again.
I think the part you might want to mention here is that as part of your trip to the bathroom in the middle of the night, you use a flashlight to guide your way. Rather than turn on lights and wake your sleeping husband, you use the relatively narrow light cast by said flashlight to see *most* of the obstacles that stand between you and the bathroom, which is located down the hall.
ReplyDeleteThe other important piece of information here is that the cat, having long been trained in the "fun-ness" of the game spot (which usually comes in the form of a laser pointer), thinks that the flashlight beam is a middle-of-the-night rendition of his favorite game.
And thus the cat ends up underfoot, exactly where safety and common sense would say is the worst place for him to be.
a flashlight? really? are you morally opposed to nightlights in the hall and/or bathroom? although the flashlight does make the story slightly more amusing, I must say...
ReplyDeleteand furthermore, what obstacles do you have between you and the bathroom? is it a treacherous journey?
on i side note, i'm sure it was the cat that caused the commotion, not you :)
Excellent story! And, really, a sore backside from bathtub fall is much better than a severely pissed-off cat!
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