Time Flies

I meant to blog more last semester, really, but things - aka, life - happened. Teaching took A LOT of time. More than I expected. So.....when I wasn't actually in front of the class I was correcting homework or quizzes, I was writing exams, re-working Powerpoints, writing out notes or coming up with hands-on activities that would make things easier for the students. When I wasn't doing any of that I was trying to keep the house clean and occasionally spending a few minutes with the husband. Needless to say, when I had a few moments, one of the last things I wanted to do was write about my class. And so the blog suffered.

On top of the busy schedule, there was another reason I let the blog suffer. There were lots of interesting things that happened throughout the semester, but whenever I would think about the subsequent blog I could never quite find a comfortable place between giving you all the vaguest blog posts and sharing too much about my students who are completely unaware that I have this outlet of communication.

I hope that with the start of the new semester I can correct both of these issues. First, since I spent so much time last semester getting my lectures to a good place my class-to-class work load will be significantly reduced. I hope to use at least some of that time to blog - maybe with more time to think I will be able to tell you about some of the events that take place during class in a manner that is both informative/entertaining while still being respectful to my students.

That being said, I have one week until this new semester begins. I guess it's probably time to update my syllabus.......

They're not called stereotypes for nothing - Under the Radar Kid

I don't want my blog to become this place where I share horror stories about my students or where all I do is complain about my students or lament how difficult teaching is because of my students. Instead, I would like to (try very hard) to use my experiences in the classroom as learning experiences for me - because let's face it, that's what they are. I can't tell you how many times this semester I've had this reaction in my head immediately after I've dealt with some situation - "oh, ugh, you shouldn't have said/done/agreed to that - live and learn but never do that again."

Anyone who has been through a class - whether as a teacher or as a student - is well aware that students fill niches - or stereotypes. I've know this for a long time - I began to recognize the stereotypes when I sat through 40 classes in college. The difference is, back then I was one of the stereotypes. I didn't have to deal with the other attitudes in the class - for me, it was just me and the professor. Now, I'm not one of the student stereotypes and I have to stand up in front of 17 students twice a week and deal with all of their learning styles, personalities and stereotypes all at once. Yikes. Of course this is my first semester and while each semester will present its own new challenges, the stereotypes will still be there and the more familiar I become with them now, the better it will be down the road.

In order to tell you a bit about my semester up until this point, I thought I would approach it in this way - I'll write a series of blogs in which I tell you "The story of the _________" (fill in the blank with the personality du jour).

Because I've already written half a blog here, I'll keep the first story pretty simple and talk about the "Under the Radar Kid." You know who I mean. The under the radar kid is a good student who always shows up to every class and when he does miss one makes you wonder if he's dead on the side of the road because he's so consistently there. He does 99.9% of his homework and does it well. He gets at least a 90 on every quiz and does great on the exams too. He's the kid you don't have to think about at all......and sometimes you realize that you don't think about this kid at all.

It's not that I don't realize he's there it's just that he causes absolutely no waves in class at all. He's there on time at the beginning of class and is back early from the break - if he leaves at all. But I can count on one hand the number of times he's spoken to me (I think it's twice). He's a great student - he doesn't really need to talk to me. But the reverse is not true - I do need to talk to him. I need to make sure he doesn't feel like I have absolutely no idea he's there just because I don't worry about his grade. It's difficult. I don't know the under the radar kid nearly as well as I know the more verbal students or as well as the students who are really struggling. I can give you the excuse that it's because those two groups I just mentioned take up just about all of my time and my energy - but it would be just that, an excuse.

Ironically, under the radar kid is a difficult situation for me - I'm pretty shy and just randomly saying "Hey, how's it going today." is bizarrely hard for me. And so he provides me with experience in dealing with ALL of my students - even the really good ones that I could go an entire semester without speaking personally to.

Update

Bad blogger - that's me. Because of that I plan on having 2 posts today. First, I want to give you the "career update."

I'm very near the halfway point in my first semester of teaching - and I'm surviving, although it's taking up a lot of my time, despite the fact that I've only got one class. In my last post I hinted at how my approach to lecturing at the beginning of the semester wasn't working. Since then, I've taken a lot more time with each chapter - reading it, figuring out exactly the best order in which to present the material (I don't always agree with the book's order) and finding extra figures and information to present the material in a variety of ways. Very time consuming, but I think it's paying off.

Even though there's half a semester left it's time to think about courses for next semester. Registration for some of the students has begun already. I had kind of assumed that as a part-time I instructor that each semester would go kind of like it did back in August when I was hired - the associate dean (AD) looked at courses being taught and just kind of asked us if we could teach this or that and the holes got filled.

No. Not so much - of course nothing is that simple. Turns out that there's a process......the part time instructors got a sheet of paper last week with a list of the evening courses being offered next semester. We were to rank the courses we were interested in teaching. Happily, there was also an option to try and teach a day course as well if they were available. I really like the time of day that I teach (3-5:30) and very much would prefer a day course. On the other hand, I would rather teach a class than no class at all even if that means an evening course. As coherently as possible I filled out my form with a note on the bottom to that effect. Currently the AD is working with the full-time faculty and letting them take the courses that they want. He won't start dealing with scheduling the part-time faculty until a week or two from now, so I've got a bit of a wait before I know what and when I'll be teaching.

In the meantime I've been looking at the job postings again. It's definitely that time of year in which the faculty jobs start getting posted. I'm going to be applying for another adjunct position at a college more like what I want to end up at. It's to teach a 400 level cell and molecular biology course which is exactly what I got my Ph.D. in, so it's a good fit. I'll be sending my stuff along by early next week. I think it would be a good progression from one course to two, but still remaining part time for a bit as I continue to adjust to life as a teacher. We'll see what comes of it.

So there's the update about the job and career. I'll be back soon with a post about my current class.

I hope I get to teach this course next semester

Apologies for the lack of updates. I have honestly been buried underneath Powerpoint presentation, quizzes and homework assignments.

These first few weeks haven't been easy. Because I have never handled a class from A to Z before I'm on an extremely steep learning curve and it's been difficult to catch my breath until now. I view my class/dealing with my class in two major categories: the material and the students.

I thought that the material would be the easy part since I know the subject well. Yeah, not so much. Problem #1 - I know the subject well. I often assume people know much more than they really do and I forget how long I've been studying science. Problem #2 - Even though I know the subject well, it's been a long time since I took General Biology and have had to think about things in this way. Subsequently, preparing for each lecture (printing off my Powerpoint slides and making lots of notes) is taking me a very long time - at least a full day, if not two. Problem #3 - Speaking of Powerpoint......I've used it forever and I got good during graduate school at making presentations that weren't word-heavy. Mostly I use pictures and do all of the talking based around those images and it's been successful. Well, at the beginning of this class I decided to use the Ppts. given to instructors by the editors of the book rather than Ppts. designed by me. There were two reasons for this: 1 - it was easier. Because I was taking so much time "re-learning" the material it was a huge time saver for me just to use these pre-canned slides. 2 - I didn't want my students taking too much time scrambling to write down every word I say. I would prefer that they have 95% of what they need in front of them, can pay more attention to me as I guide them along the slides and only have to write a few notes here and there for themselves.

And so, what was supposed to be the "easy" part of teaching has turned out to be an area of readjustment. I'm constantly reminding myself now that not everyone has studied science for 12 years if at all. I've slowed down my lectures accordingly and take more time explaining and drawing things out. I'm still going over every chapter in excruciating detail for myself but I'm getting more efficient at it. And I discovered that the book's Ppt. presentations were doing everyone more harm than good. The students were bored since it appeared as though I was reading off of the slides - they saw it as me being superfluous to the slides rather than the way I had intended - as a way for them just to pay attention and not have to take notes. And I wasn't confident and comfortable with the presentations. I just didn't know them well enough to sound great lecturing from them. Now, I'm using those as a starting point. I go through each chapter and rearrange the order of slides. I'm deleting most of the word slides. I'm adding extra images to get harder points through. It's taking up a TON of time and up until this last weekend I was barely finishing in time to get to class but I can tell that I'm lecturing much better and the students are clearly responding better. And that was the easy part to adjust to........

Dealing with students is, well, interesting. My associate dean was most worried about my ability to manage the classroom since I look much younger than I really am. This hasn't been too much of an issue. I'm assertive when I start the class or when I call them back from a break/in-class work. Until last Thursday's class, students who are a little slow to stop talking when I start quiet down after I say a sentence or two loudly. I finally had a group just not stop talking and joking and laughing and my talking louder wasn't working. Survival "if I don't handle them right now then they'll handle me for the rest of the semester" instinct kicked in and before I really had a chance to think about it I was saying something to the effect of "You can leave if you'd like to talk. This is an adult education class, you all are free to come and go as you like, but if you're going to be in here then I would ask that you not talk when I lecture." You could have heard the proverbial pin drop. But it worked - and with the exception of 1 out of 4 (she faced the back wall of the classroom, arms crossed for the remainder of the class - because we're 5), they didn't seem to care that I had to be "mean" for a minute. I've had to deal with hearing students complain loudly about me in the hallways because I don't give enough examples in class before giving homework. Of course they don't understand that homework is a lot less effective if I explain it all to them before letting them try on their own. And, I've had to deal with a student look me right in the eye and tell me that I'm not very good - 10 minutes before class. Thanks to very supportive co-workers, family and friends I've managed to put that in perspective, but it was tough at the time.

Don't get me wrong - 95% of my students are great. Some are getting A's, some aren't. But with the exception of those few, they are comfortable coming up to me and asking questions. They'll raise their hands in class to ask for clarification. They do their work and they do it on time. That they don't all love me or biology can be difficult, but it certainly doesn't deter me from wanting to teach. In fact, it really only makes me want to teach more.

I Should be Writing a Quiz

Really. I need to write a 5 question quiz for Tuesday's class and I can't quite do it. Every time I try I either can't think of any questions or feel like I've made them too hard/too easy. At the moment, just one class into my first semester of teaching, I feel that way towards just about everything class-related. I'm fairly certain that I'm just suffering new teacher pains and this will all get easier with every class or quiz. Let's hope........

It has been a bit of a whirlwind 3 weeks. The course I'm teaching is only in its second semester at the tech and last spring only 10 students took the course. A full time instructor took on the burden of designing the course at the last minute and did his best with the time he was given. Until 2 months ago, it seemed like there would only be a need for 1 section of the course and then there was a sudden increase in interest and they had to hire a second instructor. Until 3 weeks ago it seemed like that would work out - and then there was a need for a third instructor - that's me and that's why I got hired a mere 20 days before the start of the semester.

This wasn't as difficult to deal with as you might imagine. The basic idea is that even though there are 3 sections each with a different instructor we will work together and make the General Biology course as a whole as cohesive as possible. The three of us met and decided what chapters to cover, what labs to do, that we will give daily quizzes and that there will be 6 exams, all covering the same chapters and all given within a day of the other sections. (I will mention here that this meeting took place the day before the class started) It wasn't as if suddenly I had 3 weeks to totally build up a course that was all mine. Someday I would like that chance, but I have to admit that for my first adventure into teaching a course I wasn't about to complain about being handed a syllabus and being told to use it word for word.

At the moment I can tell you honestly that I'm enjoying the experience. But.....I've only taught one class. Half of that was devoted to the syllabus. The kids (and some of them not kids) seemed fine and more than I expected participated. I'm sure the rapport will change and things will become more interesting/difficult/eye-opening when I start giving quizzes and test and suddenly grades become involved.

One very nice aspect to my new job is the new group of people I've met and who are now my co-workers. The first two people I met were the department secretary (like most secretaries, she knows the answers to every single question/problem you could possibly have and she loves helping people out) and the associate dean. The AD is very friendly, laid-back and super accessible. The full time instructor in charge of my course is a very smart, energetic ex-chiropractor who gets so excited about the course and the students that it's contagious. He has been so helpful to me and patient with all of my questions and concerns. In fact, my favorite moment of this experience so far took place while I was delivering my first lecture on Thursday. I happened to glance out towards the hallway and there he was - standing with a big grin of his face, jumping up and down and giving me the thumbs up. And all the faculty are like that. Every single person I've been has been friendly, excited and supportive. It seems like a fantastic environment and I'm excited to be a part of it.

I've also learned a lot more about working in an academic setting. Because it's a technical college, most of us were hired because we knew our fields but not necessarily how to teach. In fact, they came right out and told us at an orientation in-service (so many in-services to go to.....) that they assume we can't teach. For that reason we're required to maintain certification by attending 2-credit courses here and there along the way where we will learn how to become more effective educators. And we'll get the paperwork to prove it. Not a bad deal. Interestingly, by joining the technical college staff I automatically joined a union - something which I had never been a part of before. My involvement can range from paying my dues (probably what will happen) to being an active member (probably not - lest I hear more shouting from my husband of "You can't be in a union! I can't be married to a union member! There will be no unions in this house! I'm management, you can't be union!)

I have absorbed - or not - a ton of information over the past few weeks. The learning curve is steep at the moment, but that's good. And this whole thing is keeping me busy. (Speaking of busy - I am now officially going to be an instructor for the 9th/10th grade confirmation class at my church as well - a new endeavor which starts in about 2 weeks - but more on that in a separate post and when I know more about it myself) And now I really do have to write that quiz.........

RIP: My Time as a Postdoc

Well, it's official. I won't be returning to my former lab as a postdoc. The road here has gone something like this:

February 11 - find out I can't be re-hired

June 12 - last day of work

July 23 - phone call from the old boss saying he had money and would I like to come back. My response: I need to wait just a few more weeks to hear about a full time teaching position, but my chances aren't great - yes, I'll come back.

July 29 - I'm back visiting my old college and in chatting with my old advisor get the impression that research isn't what I should be focusing on - I need more teaching experience. I have a little panic here, considering that right now I'm more likely to end up back as a postdoc than with a teaching position.

July 30 - an e-mail from the associate dean of the local technical college (via a student who worked in the lab across from me) wondering if I'd be available to teach a General Biology class as a part-time instructor. Yay! Teaching experience - and it was part-time, so I could do both the postdoc and this class. I still haven't heard from the potential full time college though and so I send out a few feeler e-mails of "I know you can't tell me much, but is there a timeline - I've been offered another position."

August 4 - am officially hired to teach at the tech - I accept that job even w/o hearing from the full time teaching position because I can't refuse any form of teaching experience. Also, I'm still leaning towards going back to the postdoc as well - in fact, I've had a rather sudden panic attack about not having done enough of a postdoc to have my own little project to take with me someday. I call the old boss to let him know I've taken the one-course job and have pretty much decided on the lab over the full time teaching position. He tells me that he's not sure what the final numbers are for the grant, he's still thinking about hiring a technician (sort of a different story than what I got during his original phone call), he's going on vacation the following week and he's not making any decisions until after he gets back.

August 6 - I get summoned into the lab by the ex-boss to help the grad student find a reagent I had gotten from my grad lab. Turns out I didn't save it - very bad move, but in my defense, I wasn't totally into the lab during the last few months. My boss was not too nice to me that day and I didn't have the sense that I really wanted to go back. I find out the true story behind his funding - not only does he not know exactly how much money he's getting, he's not completely sure that his institution isn't going to treat it as a loan repayment. I also discover that he thought he could demand that I come into the lab because "she's just sitting at home. She can come in here." And, best of all, I find out that he's talked to the grad student who set me up with the part-time job trying to figure out exactly how much time I'd have to spend teaching/preparing for class. He also discusses with her how he doesn't believe I ever produced very much data. I decide, taking all of this into consideration, as well as the fact that he never quite valued my opinions as a scientist (ie - when he had questions about phosphorylation he'd visit everyone else in the department but never talk to me.....his own postdoc who spent 6 years of graduate school working on phosphorylation and who has connections to a major phosphorylation expert) that I no longer wish to return to his lab. Of course this causes me to have a few new worries. First, I've told him that I really want to come back and second, what do I do about getting my own research. I solved that second problem by calling my graduate mentor who was thrilled to help me and will give me whatever piece of research I want when the time comes. I decide to deal with the other problem when I hear from postdoc advisor. (August 6th was a mentally taxing day)

August 7 - August 26 - I prepare to start teaching - I will blog much more on getting that up and running and how my first class went etc. I also hear from the potential full time college - they've hired someone else and I didn't even get an interview. I was a bit mystified how I could have been a final candidate for a much longer-term job and not even get an interview for a one-year position, but if I've learned anything during the past 6 months it's that virtually zero rules apply in the world of hiring and firing. I come to appreciate my position - I still get to keep up with my house and the errands and all the books I want to read, but I get some people contact and teaching experience at the same time. Not a bad deal.

August 27 - I find an e-mail in my in-box from postdoc advisor entitled "Laboratory position." Well, I'm not stupid - it's got a formal title and it's an e-mail. He explains that based on the final numbers from the NSF he's decided to hire a technician. Unfortunately I find out that the tech he hired is not brand new - and therefore she's not an inexpensive hire. She probably costs at least exactly what I would have cost, but I can see why he tried to use that as a decent excuse to make me feel better about not being hired back. This has made my life easier - however (and this is a big however) he gets to feel all smug with himself since he was able to reject me. I desperately want him to know that I decided long ago not to return to his lab, I want him to know that my graduate advisor has come to my rescue since I knew postdoc advisor never would and I really want him to know that my decision is largely based on his behavior. Pride is a terrible thing.

And so, in one of those weird twists of fate that only our universe can conjure up, today is both the official end to my life as a postdoc and the official start to my life in education.

A Giant Sigh of Relief

In an earlier post I alluded to a recent concern of mine - that I lack a research niche to take with me when I apply for a permanent position at a small, liberal arts college. That concern transformed from something that just briefly crossed my mine into something that really worried me with regards to my chances to achieve a position. Yes, I need more teaching experience, but yes, these small colleges are expecting their professors to be able to provide the students with some access to real, live, hands on, at the bench research experience. All of a sudden, the need to get my postdoc position back seemed maybe more important than getting the year-long teaching position. And yesterday, once I knew that I'd have at least one class at the technical college per semester the idea of passing on a teaching position for a postdoc made even more sense. These were suspicions confirmed by my former college advisor, who has been invaluable lately with advice on what I need to be doing now in order to get where I want to go in a few years.

I was prompted to get in touch with my postdoc advisor, just to let him know that taking a postdoc was a little bit more of a priority now. I thought he'd be happy to hear that - but while he certainly wasn't disappointed, he clearly wasn't doing vocal cartwheels either. He told me that he's still waiting to hear about exactly how big his grant will be, he's going on vacation next week and isn't going to even begin to think about making any decisions until after. Great, more people putting me on hold. But as of last night I was still crossing my fingers that he'd decide in my favor in a few weeks' time.

Coincidentally, the grad student from that lab contacted me yesterday asking for help finding a plasmid (little DNA construct) that I had gotten from my grad lab. I called her and gave her all the directions I could think of....she couldn't find it in the stocks. This morning I had to send my postdoc mentor a form to fill out with regards to my new position at the technical college. I got a reply telling me that he'd sent the form and that S was having trouble finding this plasmid and basically ordering me into the lab to help her. By the time I returned home 4 hours later I had discovered that I never froze down this plasmid (big giant oops and not in my favor as far as getting re-hired), had eaten a lovely lunch with all the girls I used to eat with daily, and had learned a bit more about my post-doc mentors potential funding situation. I left not loving my odds - I also left not really wanting to return to that atmosphere. Big problem there.

And so I came home, screwed up my courage and called "the big gun" aka my graduate mentor. First, I apologized for being an idiot and asked if she'd re-send that plasmid to my other lab. This was not a problem. Then I very carefully explained what worried me about getting the job of my dreams someday and started hinting/asking what she thought of sharing reagents and projects with a former graduate student who would never be her competitor and would always want to work with her. To which I heard (in a tone of voice clearly suggesting that I'm a ridiculous person for sounding so nervous for asking about this) "No problem, C. What do you want to work on? I can think of at least a million projects that you could take. Seriously, no problem. You probably need more teaching experience. The research part is taken care of."

I nearly cried with relief. I thanked her profusely and sheepishly added that I was in fact asking about this nearly 2 years in advance. She laughed, but understood when I explained that I needed to know this now so that, should I be lucky enough to have a choice about job within the next few weeks, I can make a better decision that I would have been able to this morning.