Here I Go Again

It's that time of year again - all the job postings come out. I'm torn. I love my part-time life: lots of time with my little one and some teaching. On the other hand I tend to go a little stir crazy and still have those big career goals in the back of my mind. Applying is certainly no guarantee though and so I'm back at it. One application got mailed last Wednesday and a second application will be completed within a week or so. The waiting begins again and to be honest, this time around I'm truly not sure whether or not I want to be offered a job. My plan is just to take it one day at a time and trust that if I'm offered a job that was what was meant to be just as it will be the right thing if I'm not offered a job.

Evaluations

It's summer and so I don't have too much going on in the teaching arena. I was offered a course but I turned it down since I didn't think it would be fair to the students for me to teach one half of the course and then have to disappear to have a baby. And so I find myself with 3.5 months to do not very much related to school. One thing that does happen during the off time though is that friendly little e-mail from the department secretary with a summary of my evaluations attached.

Evaluations are a weird thing. First, 95% of the form consists of questions followed by a 1-5 scale. The students are asked to rate me on that scale without explanation. The ones who did well in the course give 4s and 5s, the ones who did poorly give 1s. I take this part of the evaluations with a grain of salt.

I am most interested in the part of the evaluations where the students actually have to write out what they liked and didn't like (should they so choose). I must say that I'm always pleasantly surprised at how many students actually write something - I know when I was in college I rarely took the time. Before giving out the forms I do give a tiny little speech about how I know there's a tendency to focus on the bad during evaluations but that I appreciate knowing what was bad AND good and that it takes both for me to improve in subsequent semesters. The students seem to take this to heart and I really do get a decent range of feedback.

Things students tend to like about my classes: I put everything on Blackboard, I'm organized, I'll help through e-mail or in person just about any time outside of class, I know what I'm talking about, I explain well.

Things students tend to not like about my classes: subject matter is a little dry, they want a little less lecture, I'm not enthusiastic, I rely on the Powerpoint too much/I put too little on the Powerpoint.

It's never easy to read/hear criticisms, but my goal is to get better and so I take them seriously. I do, however, wish I could sit the students down one more time after hearing the complaints and let them know a few things that make ensuring their complete happiness so difficult. First - dry subject matter - it's Biology, I happen to love it, but I can't force everyone to love it and it is a dense subject matter. I do everything I can to make it interesting including as much time in class as I can possible afford (leading into point 2 - less lecture) that is devoted to working together or doing labs rather than listening to me. What they don't know is that I have state-mandated guidelines as to what I must cover - and sometimes that is at the expense of some hands on experience. Not ideal, but true. Third - my enthusiasm - this one bothers me a lot and what makes it worse is that I know it's true. Ask anyone who knows me......I'm not an outwardly emotional person, not at all. My mannerisms/facial expressions/tone of voice when I'm happy are pretty much the same as when I'm sad, angry, super excited etc. It's part of my personality, but I know that my course would be more interesting if I could figure out how to sound as excited about science on the outside as I really am on the inside......working on that one. The last point is also a difficult one - I could put everything the students need to know on Powerpoint slides so that they could use all their energy listening to and understanding the concepts rather than wasting time taking notes - but then I'd be told that I just read off slides. I could put much less on Powerpoint slides than I do forcing the students to take copious notes while listening - but then I'd be told that I go way too fast. What I try to do is aim for the middle - they have to take some notes, but hopefully not every single word that comes out of my mouth. Of course even aiming for the middle ground doesn't make everyone happy.

And then there are the reviews that make me laugh. This semester my favorite comment was "I don't like the tests. I thought they were quite difficult and some questions were extra difficult because of my lack of knowledge."

Will I be changing my tests anytime soon? Let's put it this way - most students in my class want to go on into nursing or a surgical tech program. My tests have to be hard enough so that I can sleep at night knowing that the students I pass might be the nurses I encounter in a few weeks when I go to the hospital to deliver my baby. So no, I won't be making my tests any easier any time soon.

How Good Am I?

There are times when the instructor is just as nervous about the outcome of a test or a lab as the students are. Why? Seeing how well students did on these graded items is how instructors can tell how well they did conveying the material to their students.

I'm in one of those nervous periods right now. In my Microbiology course we've spent the semester doing a variety of labs which are designed to help someone determine which microbe they might be dealing with. Of course as we did the "warm-up" labs the students were given known microbes and knew what the correct answers were supposed to be. After each lab the students gave me lab reports in which they were supposed to tell me what the results were and whether or not these results agreed with what they knew about the bacteria.

Sounds simple, but in reality getting my students to see the connection between the tests they were doing and what's already know about the bacteria they were using was anything but. I tried many different techniques to help their understanding. I would go over the how and the why of each lab as we started them. I would go over what I wanted to see in the lab reports each week. I would write constructive comments as I graded the labs. Many of the students began to improve, but unfortunately there were/are quite a few of them who never quite grasped the why of these experiments.

About halfway through the semester I let them know about the final lab that they would have this semester - the dreaded "unknown lab." This is the monster of all microbiology labs. It's the lab in which the students have to take everything they've done in labs up to that point and put it all to use......on their own. I explained to them that during the final classes of the semester I would give them each a tube full of some, unknown bacteria. They would have all the media and reagents they needed at their disposal and they would be responsible for performing whatever tests they deemed necessary to tell me the identity of their unknown bacteria. They would have 3 lab periods in which to do this and (the scariest rule of all) they could not ask me or their classmates for any help whatsoever - their "only" guides would be their lab manual, the textbook, the lab handouts and the internet. At this point they all started taking lab seriously, but I could tell that there was still some difficulty in translating what we were doing on a week-to-week basis into what they'd be expected to do at the end of the semester.

I gave them hints and study guides right up until two days ago when the lab started. We're now on day 2 of 3 of the unknown lab and I'm terrified of the results. I know that some of my students will have done fabulously on this lab and I also know that while some won't get the right answer (I know which bacteria each student has) they will have gotten the wrong answer in a thoughtful and logical manner - meaning they understood, but went slightly astray somewhere. Sadly, I know that some will be completely off base and I feel like that is completely a reflection on my effectiveness during the semester.

Only one more week of suspense before I get these lab reports handed in and I get to see how well they did. Until then I'll be keeping my fingers crossed........

A New Adventure

As this semester wraps up, schools are already looking ahead to the fall. I have been hired back at my original technical college for my 3rd semester of General Biology and I'm waiting to hear which class I will get at my newer school. I'm looking forward to not feeling quite so "brand new" at this whole process, but at the same time, returning to teaching in the fall comes with some anticipation for me.

Between now and the beginning of the new semester I will be giving birth to our daughter. So, while I won't be new at the teaching thing anymore I will certainly still be new to the mother thing by the time I go back to school and I will be new to the figuring out how to do it all thing. In fact, I will only be about 4 weeks into the whole parenting part of my life (due date: July 22 - return to work: August 25 ) and so the beginning of the semester promises to be a little bit rocky.

Obviously there will be some adjustments. Currently I grade exams and have the grades posted within about 4-6 hours of the students having taken the exam. I think a 2 day turn-around time might be a more reasonable expectation come this fall. Also, while I do the bulk of my work on the weekend, I do save a significant portion for the day before the class. That's not going to work very well either since I will no longer have those days all to myself. Of course next semester won't be my first time anymore, so the amount of work I need to do for each class will be reasonable.

So, while I still look forward to a full time job at some point in the future I have to say that working part-time in the mornings and then spending the rest of my days at home doing work/taking care of the baby/taking care of the house (not in that order) doesn't sound like such a bad situation to me. I'm looking forward to the challenges ahead.

The Most "Wonderful" Time of the Year?

It's that time again. No, I'm not stringing Christmas lights and putting up the tree. Instead, I'm updating the CV, rewording the teaching statement and bracing myself for another round of applying for full time jobs - or job, at the moment.

About a month ago a job announcement appeared on the website of the institution that I went to the final round with last year. It's a little bit different this time. Last year the position was just an instructor position - teaching only, no committees, no lab, no advisees. Not quite what I wanted, but if it would get me in the door then I was ok with it. This year it's the perfect job - tenure track, assistant professor - this would come complete with teaching AND lab duties as well as the more political aspects of the job (advising and being on university committees - painful, but helpful on the CV).

My husband laughed when I told him the job was posted and for 1 entire second I thought about not applying. And then realized that I absolutely had to apply. If their time frame is anything like last year, then I would hear something in the next week or so - good or bad. We'll see. At the very least, if I don't get the job this year then it won't be nearly as upsetting as last year since I know I've got 2 part-time jobs waiting for me in the fall.

Here we go again...........

How Old Are We?

This time I refer not to students, but instructors.

This semester I am enrolled in a Teaching Methods course. This is a 10-week, on-line course and it will extend my technical college teaching certification for 2 more years (I'll be good through 2014). It only requires 4-5 hours of time a week, and because it's on-line, that time is at our pace, at our convenience. Sunday marks the beginning of each new week and we're given new learning and assessment activities. By Wednesday night at midnight we have to post these on our on-line interface. We then have until the following Sunday to participate in discussion about each other's activities. It's not too difficult and I have gotten some good ideas so far.

This week I posted my 4 page Word document regarding my classroom management strategies on Tuesday - I usually aim for Tuesday to give myself that one day buffer should something unforeseen occur. Today I was browsing the other posts to find ones I wanted to comment on and happened to look at my own - which had no comments yet. Instead of copying and pasting my document, I uploaded it as a link. I clicked on the link and to my horror found that it didn't work and just lead the clicker to an error page. S--t.

I quickly went to my Word document and fixed the problem by copying and pasting the paper and reposting. I wrote to my instructor and told her that I fully understood that this would be considered a late assignment, but did just want to let her know that I had fixed the issue if she wanted to look at my work.

None of this is what upsets me the most.

When you click on someone's post there's this little bar that shows you the view count. It give you an overall number of views and lets you know how many of those are your own. My post had a view count of 39 - 4 of which were mine. That meant that between Tuesday and today 35 people (or some combination of people adding up to 35) had viewed my post. That means that 35 times people saw that I had a non-functional link. Number of people who replied to my post to let me know that I had a non-functional link - ZERO. Come on people.

I forgive the instructor for this - she's the instructor and if one of her students was an idiot this week, it's not her job to save me. I do not forgive the other people taking this course for this. We're all instructors - we all know what it's like to teach and be taught. Not to mention the fact that it would take about 2 seconds to reply to my post and let me know.

Why would someone not take that time? I'm really struggling to understand. Did they also take the typical instructor point of view and figure that it was my problem to know whether or not my link worked (not necessarily wrong, but we're all in this together)? Did something like this happen to them, they weren't warned and so they are bitter and won't help others out anymore (because I'm going to be in this category from now on, believe me)? Is this schadenfreude - where they saw that I would get a lesser grade this week and that somehow made them feel better about how they did on their assignment?

Here's hoping that I don't fail this course by the one point I would have gotten by getting this assignment in on time......

Every Grade is a Fight

I find myself dealing with a new personality this semester - the student who will fight over every single point on every single graded item.

Of course students always check their grades and over last semester and what has gone by of this one I've gotten a few questions here and there but for the most part students accept their grades and move on.

In my new course though, I have one student who is now consistently raising some kind of issue with virtually every graded thing we have done. This began a few weeks ago just a couple of days prior to the first exam. She wrote frantically to me on Sunday (the exam was Thursday) and explained that she had to be at her son's school that Thursday morning at 9AM (I give exams from 8-9). What could I do for her? I reminded her of the policy that I will be happy to let each student take a late exam once with no penalty so this was not really a big deal. I also reminded her that of the 3 hours that make up class, exams will only ever take up the first hour, so if she really had to have an appointment on an exam day making if for after 9 would be fine. Of course it's not ideal to miss lecture/lab, but easier to deal with than an missed exam. We discussed when she would take the make-up and I thought that was that.

Not exactly. Over that week I got several e-mails from her suggesting that this exam should not count as her make-up exam. Her reasoning? Her excuse was really good (this was true, on the grand scale of excuses). I don't think she made up her reason for not making it to the exam, but as I explained to her when I said that yes, this really is your make-up exam, I refuse to be the judge of what is a "good" excuse and what is a "bad" excuse. I cannot allow some students to have 2 make-ups and others only one. Happily, she did seem to understand this and we've moved on......for now.....there are 5 more exams to go this semester.

One effect of her missing that class was that she also missed a lab. She was able to make that up during the following class as well and while most people needed to have their reports in last Thursday, hers would be due on Tuesday. This Tuesday came and went and I didn't have the lab report. What I did have though was an e-mail telling me that she was trying to finish the next report (which again, she was passing in a day later than everyone else) but I hadn't graded the last one and so she was going to wait until she saw how she did before passing this next one in. What? I didn't have the report - or so I thought. Turns out that she just handed it in with all the new ones passed in by everyone else. I had zero time this week to look at those so her late report just stayed with the pile and I had no idea it was there. We've fixed this problem - I asked her just to mention to me from now on when something late is coming in so this doesn't happen again. But I'm not sure I'm enjoying her flexible relationship with due dates - and the fact that in her mind she seems to find it justified since it was "my fault."

Next issue - on Tuesday the students took a lab quiz, very short, very simple, grade out of 6. Yesterday she asked if I had her quiz - I didn't. Did I have a blank copy - I did. She proceeds to go over the answers with me and she knew them all. Great. Then she starts with the "so I don't understand why I got 2 wrong on Tuesday." I told her I would take a look at her quiz when I got home. By the time I was at the house I already had an e-mail from her telling me to not forget to check the quiz - this is going to get old, fast. I did and found that she had swapped two answers around. I'm sure she knew the answers, but we all make mistakes like that which is what I told her when I e-mailed back. I also reminded her that there would be 2 lab quiz grades dropped so she shouldn't worry too much. Imagine my joy when I got the e-mail back that said "I don't know about that quiz. I knew all the answers." So now I have to take her quiz back in next week to prove to her that SHE got things wrong and that I'M not out to get her or unable to read.

We have about 7 lab quizzes, 8 lab reports, 5 exams, 1 research paper, 2 spelling quizzes and a couple of other random graded things left this semester. I'm not sure I can make it if there's going to be a fight over everything. But I will look upon this as a good experience. Every new personality I have to deal with just makes me a better teacher. I hope.

Excuses, Excuses

Yes, I'm back to the excuses thing. I had a mini-episode last week when I got this barrage of absences complete with all the requisite excuses from both of my classes. Some of them were absolutely legitimate. For example, we got a huge snow storm last Tuesday and most school districts were closed. Mine, however were not so while we had class, things like day cares were closed leaving the working/going to school moms a little bit up the creek. I get that and I sympathize.

Then I had a few like "I worked later than I thought last night and I'm too tired to come in." And my personal favorite was a kid telling me that his Dad who was in Japan at the time of the snow storm had told his son (my student) not to drive to class on Wednesday morning because of the snow (a - you're in Japan - what do you know about road conditions here? and b - THERE WAS NO SNOW ON WEDNESDAY). I had one woman bring me a doctor's note telling me that she was sick all week and couldn't study for the exam (she's in her 40s).

And so this all added up to my husband and mother both having to listen to me rant about the craziness of excuses.

But here's the thing (to steal a phrase from my husband) - last semester I would have bent over backwards to help these people make up their work and labs and quizzes. I was writing out my own lecture notes for people and posting them on-line. I was waiving late penalties. I really didn't want people to do badly in my course.

I STILL don't want people to do badly in my course, but this semester something has changed. I simply don't care what the excuse is, legitimate or not, if you missed work I'm not going out of my way to help you and that's it. You signed up for the 8AM class. You scheduled an appointment for an exam period. You didn't check Blackboard until 9PM the night before the exam.

I don't want to sound mean and horrible. I'm not, in fact I'll still bend over backwards to help you.......but only if you were trying to help yourself first. Otherwise I'm not so much assisting you through the course as much as I am carrying you through the course and that's not in the job description.

Part-Time Job Number 2

Things never happen in a nice neat way and that's kind of the story behind my new part-time job.

This all started in early January. I was at school for a meeting with the other instructors who would be teaching Biology with me this semester and one of the FT instructors told me about some PT Anatomy & Physiology positions at another nearby technical college that needed to be filled ASAP (this was two weeks before the semester started). Now, A&P certainly isn't my forte, but I know enough that I could get through a course and I figured I had nothing to lose and I applied. I wasn't incredibly surprised when I heard nothing and a week into the semester I assumed they weren't interested.

Flash forward to Sunday, January 31st. I checked my e-mail around 11AM and found an e-mail in my inbox with the heading "URGENT." It was from the associated dean at the other technical college (from now on, my original school will be TC and the new one is NTC) saying that they still needed an A&P instructor, the course would meet 3 times a week for 3 hours each and let her know right away if I could do it. I debated for about 20 minutes. When I applied to teach an A&P position, I really didn't think I'd get it - and so I was now faced with having to teach students this subject that I wasn't that comfortable with. Also, NTC is actually in downtown of the city we live near and would be about a 45 min drive each way. Of course, more teaching experience is never a thing to turn down and the extra 9 hours of pay a week (I get paid by the hour, not a flat rate for a course, but that actually works in my favor) wasn't something to laugh at. I wrote back and said I'd do it. Five minutes later the associate dean called.

She began my thanking me, then explaining a little bit about the course and then started mentioning how, after looking through my CV thought I might be more suited to teach a Microbiology course. True, but what does that have to do with filling an A&P spot? Turns out that through a series of unfortunate events they also had a Microbiology course that was in need of an instructor. We agreed that that was the best route for me and so I was hired around 1PM on Sunday. My first class was going to be Tuesday at 8AM - and the course had been going on since January 25. So not only was I walking into my first week AMAZINGLY unprepared, but I was walking into a class mid-semester.

I went to NTC on Monday to meet everyone and get the paperwork started. That night I was up until midnight cramming Microbiology notes into my head. Tuesday wasn't the best lecture I've ever given, but I must say that the students were incredibly patient with the fact that I had just been hired. That whole week was rough - I didn't have keys to any rooms, I didn't have a copy code, and most importantly, I didn't have access to the NTC intranet - no e-mail, no Blackboard, which was a huge problem. I made it though and this week has been far more successful. I can post my lectures on Blackboard, I can contact my students and post their grades. Overall, everyone involved is much happier.

I'm incredibly busy right now, but I'm thrilled to be working more. I finally feel like I'm contributing again and I like not having a lot of time where I wonder what I should be doing. All I need now is one more PT job and I'll basically be working full time. All the baby steps in the right direction will get me where I want to be someday soon

Stuff my students tell me

I'm not sure if it's something about me in particular, or just that I'm an instructor in general, but I know way more about my students than I should. I mean I know about bouts with cancer, deceased spouses, issues with kids, issues with husbands, accidents, surgeries - you name it, they've told me about it. And that's fine, in fact, I'm flattered (at times) with how comfortable my students seem to be with me.

And then there's the stuff that I know because it's popped up in e-mails explaining why someone missed a class. The excuse. I hate "the excuse." I realize stuff happens - that's fine - but it's difficult to gauge whether the excuse is truth, fiction or somewhere in between. How am I supposed to mark someone's homework down because it was late when "I had a family emergency (complete with gory details)" is the excuse? I actually tend to believe that one - as long as there's only one family emergency, when one's grandmother dies 3 times I get suspicious. On the other hand, when you tell me you were sick, I hardly ever believe that one (I'm horrible, I know). That's amplified if you tell me you were sick on an exam day.

But today I got the mother of all excuses.

Backstory - I have 2 students who haven't showed up for any of the 4 classes so far this semester. At 3 I can drop them, but I e-mail after 2 and drop after 4. I haven't heard from one and next on the to-do list is to drop him from the roster. But I did get an e-mail from the other one this morning......

And the reason she hasn't been to class yet went something like this.......my best friend was murdered (add way more detail here, including the victim's name).

Yikes. What do I do with that?

First, I went to the local news website - and sure enough - the story checks out. Yikes again.

She went on to tell me that she's ready for something to take her mind off the sorrow and that she'll do whatever I want to catch up in class and will I give her a chance. So, I'm giving her a chance - she's behind and it's not going to be fun or easy, but if she's serious it'll work out fine.

I, on the other hand, am pretty scared. I'm happy to help someone catch up with school work and I can answer biology questions with the best of them - but I don't know how to deal with shock, depression or angst all that well and I hope that a minimal amount of that will creep into my dealings with this student.

Never saw this one coming - but I guess that's what makes it interesting.

8 AM

I think I'm figuring out what the issue with the 8AM crowd is going to be. I mentioned that they seemed like a nicer group than last semester and I'm sticking with that. I do have two boys who are starting to whisper when I'm talking - so if I hear that tomorrow I'll be putting an end to it. Other than that - really they're pretty tame. I will chalk this up to the fact that they're really not all that awake for an 8AM class.

What I am seeing though, is a huge trend of lateness and as of yesterday, just absences in general. Yesterday I had 6 missing (that's 1/3 of my class). For them what does that mean? Homework that is considered late (at a penalty of 10% off of their grade), a missed quiz, missed next assignments (which means they run the risk of having late homework again) and a missed lab (so writing up that lab report will be kind of difficult). And those are just the grade-related things they missed. My class is 2.5 hours long. A missed class means a lot of missed lecture. I suspect the gravity of missing an entire class won't quite hit them until after the first exam when they do poorly on the sections I covered when they weren't there.......

Missing a class is just bizarre to me. I remember having serious panic attacks at the thought of not being able to go to a class based on how far behind I would feel and I have a hard time relating to people who (apparently) don't have as much of a reaction to skipping a class.

I realize that of my 6 yesterday, some of them were truly sick. But I also suspect that some of them didn't love the idea of getting going for an 8AM Monday class. Well, guess what? I don't love to get going for the 8AM Monday class either - but I'm there because it's my responsibility. Issues with an early class? Don't sign up for that time. Seems simple to me - but maybe I'm just mean.

Comparisons

Two classes of the new semester are done. On Monday I left the class feeling like this was a much better group than I had last semester. I sort of chalked it up to the fact that this group had signed up for an 8AM class - last semester I taught at 3PM. If they're willing to get up that early for class, they must be serious, right?

Well, maybe not. My mother is the one (they always know best, don't they? - it also helps that mine taught at a the college level for many years) who politely suggested that maybe the group seemed better because my confidence going into class on Monday was light years ahead of my confidence last semester. True statement. I had zero nerves going into class on Monday - I had added significantly to my syllabus based on the experience of last semester. I felt ready to deal with the situations and personalities of this semester.

Monday's lecture was an improvement on last semester too. The first couple of chapters last semester were given pre-deciding to handle my Powerpoint presentations differently. For this semester I've gone through those first few chapters and turned them into they types of lectures I was giving by the end of last semester. I was more comfortable with this lecture and I think that also helped me on Monday. In fact, I had a student stop by after class and tell me that she had tried to take the class last semester but had to drop out because she hated the instructor's style. She told me that she loved the way I presented the material and was happy she had signed up for the class again. That sort of made up for the girl who told me I was horrible at teaching after the first class last semester.

Of course there will be those who don't put in effort and there will be those who get upset when we get into serious stuff - like exams - and grades, but overall I feel much better about class this time around.

On a slightly unrelated note - it was truly strange for me to see a new group on Monday. I was so used to my students from last semester that through much of the class I would look out and see, not the new faces, but the ones who used to occupy those seats. I wouldn't go so far as to say I missed my former students, but I supposed I hadn't realized how comfortable we get with a certain group of people.

Time Flies

I meant to blog more last semester, really, but things - aka, life - happened. Teaching took A LOT of time. More than I expected. So.....when I wasn't actually in front of the class I was correcting homework or quizzes, I was writing exams, re-working Powerpoints, writing out notes or coming up with hands-on activities that would make things easier for the students. When I wasn't doing any of that I was trying to keep the house clean and occasionally spending a few minutes with the husband. Needless to say, when I had a few moments, one of the last things I wanted to do was write about my class. And so the blog suffered.

On top of the busy schedule, there was another reason I let the blog suffer. There were lots of interesting things that happened throughout the semester, but whenever I would think about the subsequent blog I could never quite find a comfortable place between giving you all the vaguest blog posts and sharing too much about my students who are completely unaware that I have this outlet of communication.

I hope that with the start of the new semester I can correct both of these issues. First, since I spent so much time last semester getting my lectures to a good place my class-to-class work load will be significantly reduced. I hope to use at least some of that time to blog - maybe with more time to think I will be able to tell you about some of the events that take place during class in a manner that is both informative/entertaining while still being respectful to my students.

That being said, I have one week until this new semester begins. I guess it's probably time to update my syllabus.......

They're not called stereotypes for nothing - Under the Radar Kid

I don't want my blog to become this place where I share horror stories about my students or where all I do is complain about my students or lament how difficult teaching is because of my students. Instead, I would like to (try very hard) to use my experiences in the classroom as learning experiences for me - because let's face it, that's what they are. I can't tell you how many times this semester I've had this reaction in my head immediately after I've dealt with some situation - "oh, ugh, you shouldn't have said/done/agreed to that - live and learn but never do that again."

Anyone who has been through a class - whether as a teacher or as a student - is well aware that students fill niches - or stereotypes. I've know this for a long time - I began to recognize the stereotypes when I sat through 40 classes in college. The difference is, back then I was one of the stereotypes. I didn't have to deal with the other attitudes in the class - for me, it was just me and the professor. Now, I'm not one of the student stereotypes and I have to stand up in front of 17 students twice a week and deal with all of their learning styles, personalities and stereotypes all at once. Yikes. Of course this is my first semester and while each semester will present its own new challenges, the stereotypes will still be there and the more familiar I become with them now, the better it will be down the road.

In order to tell you a bit about my semester up until this point, I thought I would approach it in this way - I'll write a series of blogs in which I tell you "The story of the _________" (fill in the blank with the personality du jour).

Because I've already written half a blog here, I'll keep the first story pretty simple and talk about the "Under the Radar Kid." You know who I mean. The under the radar kid is a good student who always shows up to every class and when he does miss one makes you wonder if he's dead on the side of the road because he's so consistently there. He does 99.9% of his homework and does it well. He gets at least a 90 on every quiz and does great on the exams too. He's the kid you don't have to think about at all......and sometimes you realize that you don't think about this kid at all.

It's not that I don't realize he's there it's just that he causes absolutely no waves in class at all. He's there on time at the beginning of class and is back early from the break - if he leaves at all. But I can count on one hand the number of times he's spoken to me (I think it's twice). He's a great student - he doesn't really need to talk to me. But the reverse is not true - I do need to talk to him. I need to make sure he doesn't feel like I have absolutely no idea he's there just because I don't worry about his grade. It's difficult. I don't know the under the radar kid nearly as well as I know the more verbal students or as well as the students who are really struggling. I can give you the excuse that it's because those two groups I just mentioned take up just about all of my time and my energy - but it would be just that, an excuse.

Ironically, under the radar kid is a difficult situation for me - I'm pretty shy and just randomly saying "Hey, how's it going today." is bizarrely hard for me. And so he provides me with experience in dealing with ALL of my students - even the really good ones that I could go an entire semester without speaking personally to.

Update

Bad blogger - that's me. Because of that I plan on having 2 posts today. First, I want to give you the "career update."

I'm very near the halfway point in my first semester of teaching - and I'm surviving, although it's taking up a lot of my time, despite the fact that I've only got one class. In my last post I hinted at how my approach to lecturing at the beginning of the semester wasn't working. Since then, I've taken a lot more time with each chapter - reading it, figuring out exactly the best order in which to present the material (I don't always agree with the book's order) and finding extra figures and information to present the material in a variety of ways. Very time consuming, but I think it's paying off.

Even though there's half a semester left it's time to think about courses for next semester. Registration for some of the students has begun already. I had kind of assumed that as a part-time I instructor that each semester would go kind of like it did back in August when I was hired - the associate dean (AD) looked at courses being taught and just kind of asked us if we could teach this or that and the holes got filled.

No. Not so much - of course nothing is that simple. Turns out that there's a process......the part time instructors got a sheet of paper last week with a list of the evening courses being offered next semester. We were to rank the courses we were interested in teaching. Happily, there was also an option to try and teach a day course as well if they were available. I really like the time of day that I teach (3-5:30) and very much would prefer a day course. On the other hand, I would rather teach a class than no class at all even if that means an evening course. As coherently as possible I filled out my form with a note on the bottom to that effect. Currently the AD is working with the full-time faculty and letting them take the courses that they want. He won't start dealing with scheduling the part-time faculty until a week or two from now, so I've got a bit of a wait before I know what and when I'll be teaching.

In the meantime I've been looking at the job postings again. It's definitely that time of year in which the faculty jobs start getting posted. I'm going to be applying for another adjunct position at a college more like what I want to end up at. It's to teach a 400 level cell and molecular biology course which is exactly what I got my Ph.D. in, so it's a good fit. I'll be sending my stuff along by early next week. I think it would be a good progression from one course to two, but still remaining part time for a bit as I continue to adjust to life as a teacher. We'll see what comes of it.

So there's the update about the job and career. I'll be back soon with a post about my current class.

I hope I get to teach this course next semester

Apologies for the lack of updates. I have honestly been buried underneath Powerpoint presentation, quizzes and homework assignments.

These first few weeks haven't been easy. Because I have never handled a class from A to Z before I'm on an extremely steep learning curve and it's been difficult to catch my breath until now. I view my class/dealing with my class in two major categories: the material and the students.

I thought that the material would be the easy part since I know the subject well. Yeah, not so much. Problem #1 - I know the subject well. I often assume people know much more than they really do and I forget how long I've been studying science. Problem #2 - Even though I know the subject well, it's been a long time since I took General Biology and have had to think about things in this way. Subsequently, preparing for each lecture (printing off my Powerpoint slides and making lots of notes) is taking me a very long time - at least a full day, if not two. Problem #3 - Speaking of Powerpoint......I've used it forever and I got good during graduate school at making presentations that weren't word-heavy. Mostly I use pictures and do all of the talking based around those images and it's been successful. Well, at the beginning of this class I decided to use the Ppts. given to instructors by the editors of the book rather than Ppts. designed by me. There were two reasons for this: 1 - it was easier. Because I was taking so much time "re-learning" the material it was a huge time saver for me just to use these pre-canned slides. 2 - I didn't want my students taking too much time scrambling to write down every word I say. I would prefer that they have 95% of what they need in front of them, can pay more attention to me as I guide them along the slides and only have to write a few notes here and there for themselves.

And so, what was supposed to be the "easy" part of teaching has turned out to be an area of readjustment. I'm constantly reminding myself now that not everyone has studied science for 12 years if at all. I've slowed down my lectures accordingly and take more time explaining and drawing things out. I'm still going over every chapter in excruciating detail for myself but I'm getting more efficient at it. And I discovered that the book's Ppt. presentations were doing everyone more harm than good. The students were bored since it appeared as though I was reading off of the slides - they saw it as me being superfluous to the slides rather than the way I had intended - as a way for them just to pay attention and not have to take notes. And I wasn't confident and comfortable with the presentations. I just didn't know them well enough to sound great lecturing from them. Now, I'm using those as a starting point. I go through each chapter and rearrange the order of slides. I'm deleting most of the word slides. I'm adding extra images to get harder points through. It's taking up a TON of time and up until this last weekend I was barely finishing in time to get to class but I can tell that I'm lecturing much better and the students are clearly responding better. And that was the easy part to adjust to........

Dealing with students is, well, interesting. My associate dean was most worried about my ability to manage the classroom since I look much younger than I really am. This hasn't been too much of an issue. I'm assertive when I start the class or when I call them back from a break/in-class work. Until last Thursday's class, students who are a little slow to stop talking when I start quiet down after I say a sentence or two loudly. I finally had a group just not stop talking and joking and laughing and my talking louder wasn't working. Survival "if I don't handle them right now then they'll handle me for the rest of the semester" instinct kicked in and before I really had a chance to think about it I was saying something to the effect of "You can leave if you'd like to talk. This is an adult education class, you all are free to come and go as you like, but if you're going to be in here then I would ask that you not talk when I lecture." You could have heard the proverbial pin drop. But it worked - and with the exception of 1 out of 4 (she faced the back wall of the classroom, arms crossed for the remainder of the class - because we're 5), they didn't seem to care that I had to be "mean" for a minute. I've had to deal with hearing students complain loudly about me in the hallways because I don't give enough examples in class before giving homework. Of course they don't understand that homework is a lot less effective if I explain it all to them before letting them try on their own. And, I've had to deal with a student look me right in the eye and tell me that I'm not very good - 10 minutes before class. Thanks to very supportive co-workers, family and friends I've managed to put that in perspective, but it was tough at the time.

Don't get me wrong - 95% of my students are great. Some are getting A's, some aren't. But with the exception of those few, they are comfortable coming up to me and asking questions. They'll raise their hands in class to ask for clarification. They do their work and they do it on time. That they don't all love me or biology can be difficult, but it certainly doesn't deter me from wanting to teach. In fact, it really only makes me want to teach more.

I Should be Writing a Quiz

Really. I need to write a 5 question quiz for Tuesday's class and I can't quite do it. Every time I try I either can't think of any questions or feel like I've made them too hard/too easy. At the moment, just one class into my first semester of teaching, I feel that way towards just about everything class-related. I'm fairly certain that I'm just suffering new teacher pains and this will all get easier with every class or quiz. Let's hope........

It has been a bit of a whirlwind 3 weeks. The course I'm teaching is only in its second semester at the tech and last spring only 10 students took the course. A full time instructor took on the burden of designing the course at the last minute and did his best with the time he was given. Until 2 months ago, it seemed like there would only be a need for 1 section of the course and then there was a sudden increase in interest and they had to hire a second instructor. Until 3 weeks ago it seemed like that would work out - and then there was a need for a third instructor - that's me and that's why I got hired a mere 20 days before the start of the semester.

This wasn't as difficult to deal with as you might imagine. The basic idea is that even though there are 3 sections each with a different instructor we will work together and make the General Biology course as a whole as cohesive as possible. The three of us met and decided what chapters to cover, what labs to do, that we will give daily quizzes and that there will be 6 exams, all covering the same chapters and all given within a day of the other sections. (I will mention here that this meeting took place the day before the class started) It wasn't as if suddenly I had 3 weeks to totally build up a course that was all mine. Someday I would like that chance, but I have to admit that for my first adventure into teaching a course I wasn't about to complain about being handed a syllabus and being told to use it word for word.

At the moment I can tell you honestly that I'm enjoying the experience. But.....I've only taught one class. Half of that was devoted to the syllabus. The kids (and some of them not kids) seemed fine and more than I expected participated. I'm sure the rapport will change and things will become more interesting/difficult/eye-opening when I start giving quizzes and test and suddenly grades become involved.

One very nice aspect to my new job is the new group of people I've met and who are now my co-workers. The first two people I met were the department secretary (like most secretaries, she knows the answers to every single question/problem you could possibly have and she loves helping people out) and the associate dean. The AD is very friendly, laid-back and super accessible. The full time instructor in charge of my course is a very smart, energetic ex-chiropractor who gets so excited about the course and the students that it's contagious. He has been so helpful to me and patient with all of my questions and concerns. In fact, my favorite moment of this experience so far took place while I was delivering my first lecture on Thursday. I happened to glance out towards the hallway and there he was - standing with a big grin of his face, jumping up and down and giving me the thumbs up. And all the faculty are like that. Every single person I've been has been friendly, excited and supportive. It seems like a fantastic environment and I'm excited to be a part of it.

I've also learned a lot more about working in an academic setting. Because it's a technical college, most of us were hired because we knew our fields but not necessarily how to teach. In fact, they came right out and told us at an orientation in-service (so many in-services to go to.....) that they assume we can't teach. For that reason we're required to maintain certification by attending 2-credit courses here and there along the way where we will learn how to become more effective educators. And we'll get the paperwork to prove it. Not a bad deal. Interestingly, by joining the technical college staff I automatically joined a union - something which I had never been a part of before. My involvement can range from paying my dues (probably what will happen) to being an active member (probably not - lest I hear more shouting from my husband of "You can't be in a union! I can't be married to a union member! There will be no unions in this house! I'm management, you can't be union!)

I have absorbed - or not - a ton of information over the past few weeks. The learning curve is steep at the moment, but that's good. And this whole thing is keeping me busy. (Speaking of busy - I am now officially going to be an instructor for the 9th/10th grade confirmation class at my church as well - a new endeavor which starts in about 2 weeks - but more on that in a separate post and when I know more about it myself) And now I really do have to write that quiz.........

RIP: My Time as a Postdoc

Well, it's official. I won't be returning to my former lab as a postdoc. The road here has gone something like this:

February 11 - find out I can't be re-hired

June 12 - last day of work

July 23 - phone call from the old boss saying he had money and would I like to come back. My response: I need to wait just a few more weeks to hear about a full time teaching position, but my chances aren't great - yes, I'll come back.

July 29 - I'm back visiting my old college and in chatting with my old advisor get the impression that research isn't what I should be focusing on - I need more teaching experience. I have a little panic here, considering that right now I'm more likely to end up back as a postdoc than with a teaching position.

July 30 - an e-mail from the associate dean of the local technical college (via a student who worked in the lab across from me) wondering if I'd be available to teach a General Biology class as a part-time instructor. Yay! Teaching experience - and it was part-time, so I could do both the postdoc and this class. I still haven't heard from the potential full time college though and so I send out a few feeler e-mails of "I know you can't tell me much, but is there a timeline - I've been offered another position."

August 4 - am officially hired to teach at the tech - I accept that job even w/o hearing from the full time teaching position because I can't refuse any form of teaching experience. Also, I'm still leaning towards going back to the postdoc as well - in fact, I've had a rather sudden panic attack about not having done enough of a postdoc to have my own little project to take with me someday. I call the old boss to let him know I've taken the one-course job and have pretty much decided on the lab over the full time teaching position. He tells me that he's not sure what the final numbers are for the grant, he's still thinking about hiring a technician (sort of a different story than what I got during his original phone call), he's going on vacation the following week and he's not making any decisions until after he gets back.

August 6 - I get summoned into the lab by the ex-boss to help the grad student find a reagent I had gotten from my grad lab. Turns out I didn't save it - very bad move, but in my defense, I wasn't totally into the lab during the last few months. My boss was not too nice to me that day and I didn't have the sense that I really wanted to go back. I find out the true story behind his funding - not only does he not know exactly how much money he's getting, he's not completely sure that his institution isn't going to treat it as a loan repayment. I also discover that he thought he could demand that I come into the lab because "she's just sitting at home. She can come in here." And, best of all, I find out that he's talked to the grad student who set me up with the part-time job trying to figure out exactly how much time I'd have to spend teaching/preparing for class. He also discusses with her how he doesn't believe I ever produced very much data. I decide, taking all of this into consideration, as well as the fact that he never quite valued my opinions as a scientist (ie - when he had questions about phosphorylation he'd visit everyone else in the department but never talk to me.....his own postdoc who spent 6 years of graduate school working on phosphorylation and who has connections to a major phosphorylation expert) that I no longer wish to return to his lab. Of course this causes me to have a few new worries. First, I've told him that I really want to come back and second, what do I do about getting my own research. I solved that second problem by calling my graduate mentor who was thrilled to help me and will give me whatever piece of research I want when the time comes. I decide to deal with the other problem when I hear from postdoc advisor. (August 6th was a mentally taxing day)

August 7 - August 26 - I prepare to start teaching - I will blog much more on getting that up and running and how my first class went etc. I also hear from the potential full time college - they've hired someone else and I didn't even get an interview. I was a bit mystified how I could have been a final candidate for a much longer-term job and not even get an interview for a one-year position, but if I've learned anything during the past 6 months it's that virtually zero rules apply in the world of hiring and firing. I come to appreciate my position - I still get to keep up with my house and the errands and all the books I want to read, but I get some people contact and teaching experience at the same time. Not a bad deal.

August 27 - I find an e-mail in my in-box from postdoc advisor entitled "Laboratory position." Well, I'm not stupid - it's got a formal title and it's an e-mail. He explains that based on the final numbers from the NSF he's decided to hire a technician. Unfortunately I find out that the tech he hired is not brand new - and therefore she's not an inexpensive hire. She probably costs at least exactly what I would have cost, but I can see why he tried to use that as a decent excuse to make me feel better about not being hired back. This has made my life easier - however (and this is a big however) he gets to feel all smug with himself since he was able to reject me. I desperately want him to know that I decided long ago not to return to his lab, I want him to know that my graduate advisor has come to my rescue since I knew postdoc advisor never would and I really want him to know that my decision is largely based on his behavior. Pride is a terrible thing.

And so, in one of those weird twists of fate that only our universe can conjure up, today is both the official end to my life as a postdoc and the official start to my life in education.

A Giant Sigh of Relief

In an earlier post I alluded to a recent concern of mine - that I lack a research niche to take with me when I apply for a permanent position at a small, liberal arts college. That concern transformed from something that just briefly crossed my mine into something that really worried me with regards to my chances to achieve a position. Yes, I need more teaching experience, but yes, these small colleges are expecting their professors to be able to provide the students with some access to real, live, hands on, at the bench research experience. All of a sudden, the need to get my postdoc position back seemed maybe more important than getting the year-long teaching position. And yesterday, once I knew that I'd have at least one class at the technical college per semester the idea of passing on a teaching position for a postdoc made even more sense. These were suspicions confirmed by my former college advisor, who has been invaluable lately with advice on what I need to be doing now in order to get where I want to go in a few years.

I was prompted to get in touch with my postdoc advisor, just to let him know that taking a postdoc was a little bit more of a priority now. I thought he'd be happy to hear that - but while he certainly wasn't disappointed, he clearly wasn't doing vocal cartwheels either. He told me that he's still waiting to hear about exactly how big his grant will be, he's going on vacation next week and isn't going to even begin to think about making any decisions until after. Great, more people putting me on hold. But as of last night I was still crossing my fingers that he'd decide in my favor in a few weeks' time.

Coincidentally, the grad student from that lab contacted me yesterday asking for help finding a plasmid (little DNA construct) that I had gotten from my grad lab. I called her and gave her all the directions I could think of....she couldn't find it in the stocks. This morning I had to send my postdoc mentor a form to fill out with regards to my new position at the technical college. I got a reply telling me that he'd sent the form and that S was having trouble finding this plasmid and basically ordering me into the lab to help her. By the time I returned home 4 hours later I had discovered that I never froze down this plasmid (big giant oops and not in my favor as far as getting re-hired), had eaten a lovely lunch with all the girls I used to eat with daily, and had learned a bit more about my post-doc mentors potential funding situation. I left not loving my odds - I also left not really wanting to return to that atmosphere. Big problem there.

And so I came home, screwed up my courage and called "the big gun" aka my graduate mentor. First, I apologized for being an idiot and asked if she'd re-send that plasmid to my other lab. This was not a problem. Then I very carefully explained what worried me about getting the job of my dreams someday and started hinting/asking what she thought of sharing reagents and projects with a former graduate student who would never be her competitor and would always want to work with her. To which I heard (in a tone of voice clearly suggesting that I'm a ridiculous person for sounding so nervous for asking about this) "No problem, C. What do you want to work on? I can think of at least a million projects that you could take. Seriously, no problem. You probably need more teaching experience. The research part is taken care of."

I nearly cried with relief. I thanked her profusely and sheepishly added that I was in fact asking about this nearly 2 years in advance. She laughed, but understood when I explained that I needed to know this now so that, should I be lucky enough to have a choice about job within the next few weeks, I can make a better decision that I would have been able to this morning.

What do I have them call me?

This and a whole host of other questions are now filling up most of the space in my head......

I'm officially teaching in the fall! I went in and met with the Assistant Dean of the division this morning and by the time I walked out I was officially a part-time instructor.

I knew walking in that something very strange would have to happen for me not to be offered the class, but I was still overwhelmed when it became official. I'm finally going to have my very own class - complete with 24 students and a textbook and all the other things that come along with a class - and I start in 3 weeks. This is not quite as bad as it sounds. Because it's a technical college the curriculum is statewide and therefore the overall progression of the subject has been set for a number of year - I walked out with a "syllabus" detailing the order in which I'll be teaching the various aspects of biology. So, while it's up to me to decide exactly how I'll split up those topics and where I'll put a lab section instead of lecture I won't be starting from zero as far as curriculum. Additionally, I'm instructing just one of three sections of this particular class. One lecturer is also part time and the 3rd is actually a full time instructor and is in charge of the course as a whole. I'll be meeting/communicating with these two instructors frequently in the weeks leading up to the course and then as the semester progresses. Basically, I'm not just being thrown in and I'll never feel alone as I begin the teaching portion of my career.

Ironically, it's not planning the lectures or the labs or remembering all my basic biology that worries me the most. Instead it's issues like the question I posed in the title of this blog. How will I remember all of their names? What do I do if someone ignores my "all cell phones will be turned off during my class" rule? The Assistant Dean came right out and said that one of the biggest problems that new, part-time staff face is that students view us as not having much status - ie, we have the substitute teacher problem. He asked me if I had any experience managing students in a classroom and then brought up an issue that had vaguely entered my mind at some point but was quickly shoved to the back......."You look like you're about 16 years old." Yes, I look young - but I don't dress like a 16 year old, I'm married, have a Ph.D., don't act like a 16 year old and can shoot someone a dirty look like no one's business........I'm pretty sure that if I walk in there on my first day and act confident and in charge then this will not be an issue - but I'll keep you all posted on that.

I have about 2 more days of peace before all lesson planning hell breaks loose. I was sent home today with paperwork to fill out and a new appointment for Thursday morning where I'll get more of the details of working there and about the curriculum. After that, it'll be time to settle into the lessons and lectures.

Here goes nothing........